Long time no?

Once again it has been too long.
I have been taking a break for absolutely no good reason.
I have been working on my finger cymbals and my 4s are almost fast enough for the level 2 test. What I am struggling with now is that ring of the finger cymbals of my left hand is horrible. It is so obvious when I play my left hand. I keep thinking I should work on my left hand dominance in order to work my left hand more. Maybe one day my left will catch up to my right.

I came up with a brilliant plan. I have been having trouble staying in relevé for any length of time. It really has to do with my weight. I have very strong legs, but not very strong ankles. I have decided to start doing some training in the pool. I walk back in forth in the pool, in relevé, making sure to flex and place, near the wall so I can stay stable if need be. As I get stronger I will move to more shallow water. I have tried this in the pool and it really does work out my feet and ankles. Once the little one is in school all day (um..which is next week) I will have a little more time to noodle around in the pool.(Of course I would really like a waterproof mp3 player to help me keep time in the pool...but that is not happening right now)

My biggest dilemma right now is speed. My weight is again holding me back from speed and progress. I am always surprised at how much I am learning about myself and my deep emotional hurts by working on my certification. I knew that level 3 was when the emotional aspect will be brought in...and I have heard all kinds of stories about how many tears are shed during level 3.

I am having to get over my perfectionism. It is not just about getting the technique right. For me it is about being able to train each day, and not beat myself up for what I cannot do yet. To be able to train in an imperfect situation, and imperfect amount of time. I can't believe how knowing I will have to cut my training short will stop me from even starting. It is like if all the planets are aligned just right, the floor is perfectly clean..my workshop is also clean ( I can see it from my dance space), then I can train. I need to get over that and push on...keep challenging myself.

In my mind I keep hearing Suaila say "you have it in you". I need to print that out and tape it to the wall. I also need to stop questioning it. I do have it in me. Time to bring it out.

Ok..ready...set..go...